Marriage

Our Love

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Family photo shoot December 2014

I would definitely be lying if I said my marriage is all sunshine and rainbows, but I am very proud of how far Ryan and I have come together.  I think our relationship is a bit unconventional for some.  We don’t really tip-toe around each others’ feelings and we are at times brutally honest.

We learned earlier on in our relationship that when we did hold things back, our feelings would come out at a later time and be more hurtful than if we would have just said something from the beginning.  For instance, it took him almost a year to tell me that he hated me smoking and that he didn’t like to kiss me much because I tasted like an ashtray.  I felt like we probably wasted a lot of close moments because he didn’t want to be around my stinky breath!  I asked him to tell me things like that from the beginning so I could at least have the option of making changes if I chose to.  I didn’t quit smoking, but at least I was more aware of popping gum and using Listerine. I WILL tell him that his car smells like a dirty sock when he leaves his gym clothes in there… what if I didn’t and he drove a client somewhere?  That would be so embarrassing!  Like,  how many other people thought I had stinky breath and never told me?  It’s obviously not for everybody and at times it does sting a bit, but we are much happier this way.

Ryan has been a great influence in my life and I think we complement each other very well.  He is a true entrepreneur and much more of a free spirit than I am.  He has a bit of OCD and ADD which is manageable at most times, but when it isn’t in check he has my Type A personality to wrangle him back in.  And because I am sometimes a neurotic type A, he reminds me to chill out and stop being so serious about everything.  We both remind each other when we need to stop and smell the roses.  He also pushes me out of my comfort zone all the time which is hard for me because I relinquish a lot of control when I try something new, and having control is a big part of the way I live.  Putting this website together was actually a very scary step for me, but Ryan backed me 100% and inspired me to put myself out there.  He is also the one who encouraged me to get into lifting which has changed my life for the better.  As a bit of a stress case, I am able to get into the gym and just leave it all in there.

He is my other half.  Not better half, but other half.  I don’t feel like I see many relationships these days where nobody wears the pants, where there isn’t a distinct person to take the lead.  We play each others’ strengths and really work as a team.  There are things that I am better at so he doesn’t question when I make those decisions, and there are other situations where I stand back and follow him.  It is really special to me to be valued so much.  I feel like he respects my intelligence and strength and most importantly my independence.  Like I said before, I don’t think this is necessarily a typical marriage, a traditional marriage, but I love it, it works for us and I’m happy to never have to wonder what he is thinking or not saying.

 

 

 

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